Toots' Tips for Picking Up Chicks - #1 Pick Up Lines

Teach em when they're young. Morro as an infant

This time we examine some potentially successful and potentially harmful pick-up lines. The 3 types of lines I have personally come across (not all told to me, but used by others!) enter into categories of subtle good lines that have actually worked to get a guy laid numerous times, stupid really really bad lines (you know it’s a stupid line when, immediately after saying the line, the chick kicks you in the groin and screams “rape!” at the top of their lungs) and there is also the gamblers approach (just for you TAB boys!).

Lines That work

“Do I know you? (No.) That's a shame, I'd sure like to”

“Hey, Laura! (Big hug). I haven't seen you forEVER!! (huge kiss) Wow, you've really changed! (I'm not Laura) What? Oh my God, you even changed your name!”

These approaches have been proven to be the most commonly tried and tested lines which are bound to initiate conversation (even if the convo consists of “fuck off freak”)

“If you have oral-sex with your own clone, would that be called masturbation?”
This line may sound a bit upfront, but it actually is a scientifically interesting concept which will gain the attention and thoughts of your target.

“If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?”
Suprisingly, this little beauty may trick even the un-blondest of them all especially when used in a noise-productive environment. Make sure it is backed up with a sneaky smile and drink offer, and the cat’s in the bag for sure.

Stupid lines that might get you kicked out when used on a promo girl

“Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.”

“Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) Cause they're mine sweetheart."
Bound to get a slap around the face or groin wound. Might not even get to finish the line….

“I'm drunk.”
Definitely the biggest turn-off line you could use. Although when used by a female, definitely the best turn-on line you could use.

“You know, I'd really love to fuck your brains out, but it appears someone beat me to it.”
A stupid line for a stupid chick.

“Do you see the angry leprechaun on my shoulder?"
Creeping people out is bad. I shouldn’t have to explain why.

Gambler’s Lines

“I bet you $100 you're gonna turn me down.”
“I bet you $50 you’re gonna turn me down.”
And for those who actually need the money…..
“I bet you $10 you’re gonna turn me down.”

In summary, I quote a pick-up line used from my muse for this weeks Toot’s Tips:

“Is your name Jaime?” (yes) “fuck!”