Saturday, September 16, 2006

Surf Park Profile #6 - Winny


Bustin out Platinum Style

AKA: Winny, G-Mill

Status: We aren't sure... Alumni Surf Park

Teams: Bulldogs, NSW.

Drink of Choice: Bundy Rum and any other non wheat based alocholic beverage

Random Fact: Winny is a rice heart and therefore cannot consume wheat based products. Thus meaning he cannot drink bear and eat pizza, he is totally gay

Sports Heros: Shrek, Big Willy

Known For: Being incredibbly light, capturing spews on camera, his 21st at the races, shutting down betting on Newcastle Knights games, jumping on grenades

Once got so drunk that: Went home with a FOT, had to catch the train home the next day stopping at several stations to spew.

Been Heard Saying: Its better to be cooked then caught!

By Day: TAB operator.


Camp Winny

Friday, September 15, 2006

SP Nitelife Review #2- Family - The Valley

#2 - THE FAMILY

Location: Family Nightclub, Fortitude Valley, Brisbane

Date visited: Saturday 8 September 2006

Time Visited: 11pm - dawn

Attendees: Dog, Pirate, Boris, Winnie, Ringo.

Guest Appearances: Toots, Cassi


dance floor view from level 2... out of mind

Background: After watching the Broncos get done by the Dragons, the boys were in good spirits. The Caxton provided a few beverages and the chance to show some social skills but the boys wanted dancing spliced with a little bit of 'crazy'. The Normanby was too packed (despite trying to sneak in), so it was decided The Family was the place to go. The undisputed reputation of Surf Park allowed the boys to jump directly to the front of the taxi queue that was 50m long, then the boys were at The Family in a matter of minutes.

After a short debate (won by 'it's better to be cooked than caught'), and short wait in the queue and a $15 cover charge later the crew were inside. It had been years since the majority of the crew had been in the place, and memories of '03 Uni Games came flooding back. And what a sight it was! Three levels of sweetness, from the raging dance floor at the bottom, the drinking section in the middle and the ulra chill out top floor. A few drinks later, including a disgusting pre-mixed Jagerbomb, the boys were gobsmacked with Leary's sneakiness as Cassi and Toots arrived, the latter promiscuously chasing a young man..... The more the merrier! Much boogying was to be had on the dance floor, cheeky texting, lots of water evaporating in mouths and subsequently, many toilet breaks. There was a fair but of talent, however it was a hard pickup place ("You just can't get a good read of these chics" - Ringo).

After dancing themselves silly, the surf park crew chilled out in the lounge, and departed circa 4.30am. However a ridiculous taxi queue added an hour to the night.



Ratings:

Location 7/10 - Other pubs are nearby but a taxi trip to and from is a pain.
Queue 9/10 - The 'new patrons' queue was shorter than the 'returning' queue meaning if you go in, you should stay in.
Cover charge 8/10 - $15 is reasonable considering the quality of the place
Music 9/10 - good variety at each level depending on your mood
Drink Prices 7/10 - expensive as is to be expected of nightclubs these days.
Females 8/10 - a few riggy-rig-rigs around - Brisbane chics are cool.
No. of Patrons 9/10 - a good number of people.
Pickin Up? 5/10 - pretty hard unless they are ugly.
Toilets 8/10 - Very impressive, lose marks for warm water though.
Fit Out 10/10 - Very very well done! Marvellous attention to detail. Minor problem is those silly little steps that you trip over all night (Tegan!)

TOTAL: 80 / 100


Ringo, Pirate, Dog (rear), Winny, Boris... walking with ghosts


Conclusion: The Family provided a great night out. The chances of picking up were slim, but the fit out, the music and the atmosphere ensured the night would be memorable. Definitely worth a trip every now and then, however a sober driver would be preferable to waiting in taxi queues to and from.


Learys hand how Ringo saw it whilst G-Mill is loving life (Right)

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Ringo's Rant #8



Well I’ve been sitting at uni for the last hour ranting to myself and to anyone who cares to listen or walk by when it suddenly dawned on me, geez its been so long since you have had a rant don’t waste this anger… the fans deserve to hear it (that’s you nut)!

I can hear pops cheering all the way from Bundy, "wow finally another Ringo’s rant!"
But hold onto your seat pops because I haven’t been this angry since that little K-Hunt was selected for Straya. So why waste anymore time the Cross section of the population that I’m aiming this little rant? This is to is all those dickheads out there who work in administration.

What the Fuck do you do???? Surely you lazy fucks must get some work done sometime? You can't spend all your time on the net like G-Dog does!

I'll set the scene, The Great Man Ringo (that's me) has been at uni for a 1000 years and I was all set to graduate at the end of this year… But no some fuckwit in administration had different ideas! Instead of finding my last prac they decided to surf the net and crikey, read all about Steve Irwin’s death. As sad as it is and I mean no disrespect but he's dead, and I'm not, so find me a fucking prac! So now I get an email saying I will have to do my prac in Feb next year, and for the next 4 months I’m in limbo which means I will have to find a job which means getting off my lazy ass! Fuck I’m pissed off.

To make things worse I have it on good authority that this chick who is meant to find me a prac is mates with none other then the most useless/unreliable bastard in the world. Yeah you guessed it all you cdrgg boys you know who im talking about now POTTER. Potter do you have a reliable friend in the world?

So this weeks rant goes out to all the useless administration workers out there who spend more time mucking around on the net then doing there jobs and to that useless Dirt box potter fuck you and your friends!

Monday, September 11, 2006

Surf Park Goes International

Hey Crew,



We have been pretty slack at updating lately with most (not all) of the boys busy with their day jobs, whilst slack pricks like Ringo sit around on couches fingering their ass to make time go by. Anyway if any of you have scrollled all the way to the bottom of this fine blog lately you would have noticed we have installed a map to show where we have been getting hits from lately. We have managed a few hits from overseas (not Australia) which is crazy. If you are one of these foreign freaks reading our blog, leave a comment! Perhaps you could suggest Ringo stops pleasuring his date and has a rant, or Timmy Hat stops being a whipped and bring back his critically acclaimed Timmy's Hat! In the words of Kayne West, we want Feeback, we want Feedback, Yeh!

Thursday, September 07, 2006

SP Nitelife Review - Platinum Broadbeach

New SP Adventures segment!

Surf Park rates drinking locations around the Gold Coast....

That's right! Surf Park residents act as 'mystery boozers' in order investigate the highs and lows of Gold Coast nightlife

First up we have a club which was first visited by the majority of the Surf Park crew last week reviewed by G-Dog Da Kiwi




#1 - PLATINUM

Location: Platinum Nightclub, Victoria Ave (Broadbeach Mall), Broadbeach
Date visited: Thursday 31 August 2006 (Friday was a public holiday)
Time Visited: 10:30pm - Sunrise

Attendees: Dog, Pirate, Boris, Winnie, Fot, Eriksen, Toots, Cassi, Fots mate Luke



Background: The crew had heard that there were at least 4 top DJs spinning tracks at Platinum on the Thursday night, hence giving a perfect reason to decline offers to head to the usual drinking spots in Surfers Paradise. Platinum was also within walking distance, and the Friday being a public holiday and lack of Gold Coast taxis this was a massive bonus.


The DJs lineup included Dirty South, Mr Timothy (T-Funk), Vandalism and John Course. These guys play regularly at Sydney and Melbournes best clubs, and play some killer beats. The cover charge of $25 dollars was reasonably high, however with a lineup of DJs second to none, Surf Park was expecting this. The queue went quickly and before we could say "giggity giggity goo" we were at the bar sticking whatever we could down our throat.... including alcohol such as coronas.

The joint was packed, but not too overcrowded with plenty of happy party people. Soon we were off our face! There were chics aplenty, the majority of them busting a move on the dance floor. Soon we were all charging.... everyone was charging..... except Toots who more than made up for it by her over drinking.

There were cheers from the boys every new DJ, and louder cheers when scantily clad women hopped up on the podium.... and even louder cheers when winnie made it up on the podium. By 1am the place was pumping, and Surf Parks visit was far from over as everyone was in a happy place, grooving and boozing the night away. There was some random texting was done amongst the boys ("We Found Boris!") and before long all were on the dance floor giving 100%. Rage Against the Machine made it into one of the DJ lineups which pleased the retro rockers of Surf Park. Mr Brightside was also a hit form the majority of the crew. The mystery boozers ended circa 5am upon which everyone stumbled home (except toots and cassi who took a taxi.... boooo!)



Winny Enjoying some tunes

Ratings:

Location 7/10 - a short stroll from Surf Park... no taxis required... but if this club failed other bars are too far away
Queue 8/10 - Small-ish queue but went quickly, was good considering a big night
Cover charge 6/10 - $25 is very steep but was kinda worth it considering the line-up
Music 10/10 - we picked a good night for music, strong tunes
Drink Prices 5/10 - very expensive for beers ($7 - $9) but was expected. Smirnoff Blacks ($8) were the best option.
Females 9/10 - a worthy showing by the females of the Gold Coast.... nice work girls!
Number of Patrons 8/10 - a lot of people but not too crowded
Chances of picking up 6/10 - not a bad chance if you are willing to do a bit of work... which is against Surf Park's nature
Toilets 9/10 - this reviewer was impressed! Spacious and pretty clean
Fit Out 7/10 - Not bad, new cocktail room, plenty of sofas to chill out on, spacious dance floor. Could use a better air-con system
TOTAL: 75 / 100



Toot-i before it all went pear shaped

Conclusion: Platinum threw up a great night out!All time indeed, smiles were platered on our faces for days. It was good to stroll out for once, and the music and chics were great. Definitely worth another visit on a standard night when the cover charge isn't so steep and there are normal DJs. A normal night shows the true character of a drinking spot, but so far so good for Platinum!

Check out these links to see for yourself, and hear the Dj's tunes...


Platinum MySpace
http://www.myspace.com/platinumnightclub
www.platinumnightclub.com.au

Dirty South
http://www.myspace.com/dirtysouth909
www.dirtysouth.com.au
John Course
http://www.myspace.com/vandalismgroup
http://johncourse.com
Mr Timothy
http://www.myspace.com/mrtfunk
Vandalism
http://www.myspace.com/vandalismgroup
http://www.vandalism.com.au

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