Ringo's Rant #7- Fuck Paper

As some of you may know I have been flat out like a lizzard drinking on prac at a school up in Shailer Park, classy area (now i understand why tash is the way she is).

So I've been teaching PE which is actually quite fun because I can dominate all my kids in sport, you should see me at touch I've been scoring tries all over the shop! I've even heard kids muttering in the background after I've run 70m to score 'wow that teacher is a great man!"

So anyway everything was fine and dandy until the start of a game this week when I was about to tap. A sprog from the opposition challenged me to a scissors/paper/rock battle to see who started the game.... Now myself being the fair teacher that I am and taking into acount that I have been kicking these little shits arses in all types of sports i thought to myself "Why not?" It's just another sport where I can exert my dominance.

Now this is where the trouble started because when I play scissors/paper/rock, I understand that scissors can beat paper, and I get how rock can beat scissors, but there's no fucking way paper can beat rock! Paper is supposed to magically "wrap around" rock, rendering it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class?... I'll tell you why-- BECAUSE PAPER CAN'T BEAT shit even the QLD rugby League team could beat paper!A rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds!


The only two winning hands in a Rock Off

Fuck Paper when I play rock/paper/scissors, I always choose rock. So then when this kid picked paper and claimed victory I punched the little cunt in the face with my already clenched fist and said, "Oh shit, I'm sorry. I thought paper would have protected you" The Deputy principal wasn't happy with me but we got the tap and I scored 2 tries and set up 2 more. I tell ya the great man Ringo is dominating these little shits in everything.