Pirate’s Propaganda – G-Dog Da Kiwi is more Aussie then Old Man Robbo

I hereby announce former self pronounced greatest Aussie ever Old Man Robert Brown as the most un-Australia person ever to step foot in Surf Park. Whata? You all say in your best Little John imitation voice. How can this be? There have been many international visitors to the park of surf in its infamous 2 and a half year history. Hell even a bludging canuck and kiwi have called Surf Park their temporary place of residence.

Well all you Little John wannabees the answer is Yeeeah it’s true! In case you have been living under a rock or you reside in Melbourne, there is a little event happening in Germany called the FIFA World Cup. 32 of the best soccer nations meet to compete for the title of the world champions and Australia have qualified for the first time in 32 years.

On Friday morning Australian time the Socceroo’s took on Croatia for the chance to qualify for the round of 16. Surf Park regulars headed to the Prince Albert bar late Thursday evening warming up on 5 hours of pints. Any way as we all know the Aussie pulled off a draw to qualify to the round of 16 and the SP boys drank and sang well into the morning. Mid celebrations we decided to call Robbo to see what he thought of the game, here ladies and gentlemen is where it got ugly. Below is a transcript of the phone call…

Drunk SP Boys: Robbo, how good was that shit!
Robbo: What are you talking about?
SP: The soccer you spastic! We qualified! We’re through!
R: Really? That’s awesome!
SP: Didn’t you watch it you old cunt?
R: No, I gotta go to school. You know us old people need plenty of sleep. Who are we playing?
SP: The I-Tai’s…
R: Italy, ahh fuck… I’m torn!

Now stop right there! How can a man born and raised in Ipswich with no Italian heritage at all be torn over this game? Fair enough he is a fan of the spastic Totti, but how can he even entertaining the thought of cheering on those pasta munching cunts over the great socceroos? We are willing to bet that Musa who is a little dapto dog hasn’t even thought this.

Robbo you are off the list mate, firstly for not getting your wrinkled old ass out of bed to watch the game, then for even thinking of supporting the i-tai’s in such a crucial game. G-Dog the kiwi even was at the PA with us, in an Aussie shirt cheering on the boys! Hang your head in shame Robbo, you are officially the most un-Australian bastard we know.